We all have “unshakeable faith,” or more simply, sacred attachment to beliefs and mental models that ultimately don’t make us happy or feel fulfilled. The dilemma of being attached to an unhelpful mechanism is captured well in the question: “Do you prefer to be happy or to be right?” It may sound like a “cliché question”, […]
When we believe that the needs of others are equal to our needs, we create a foundation for mutual respect. We enter into mature relationships. It’s easier to make compromises and negotiate agreements. It doesn’t mean that we won’t experience a sense of loss in negotiating agreements – a loss of options and opportunities. It […]
It’s Spring break! No additional comments and no reflective thoughts for this week, but I look forward to continuing SINGING WITH YOU ALL later in April (after a short break)! Warmly, Carole
Ecosystems are in danger. It’s been a reality for decades. It is essential to continue advocating for elephants, lions, tigers, chimpanzees, fish, bees, coral, bio-diversity of trees, seeds and flowers. My moral barometer about “Caring for Nature” is very high. Although it is easy to feel discouraged, it is important to keep our vigilance alive. […]
How to resist a juicy story in which we are the virtuous hero and the other one is the bad dud, even if it means coming across as inconsistent? In truth, it is difficult to question our stories when they make us feel self-righteous AND connected. Too irresistible to stick with our narrative! It just […]
I love exploring the tension between being somebody and being nobody. If we are too attached to being somebody, we experience scarcity and fear. We push, control, hide, distort… We exhaust ourselves and others. If we are too attached to being nobody, we miss the opportunity to allow the gifts of our life to blossom. […]
About Self-hatred: I heard Jack Kornfield* at a conference tell the story of a Western student asking the Dalai Lama how he was dealing with self-hatred. The Dalai Lama couldn’t understand the question and after asking for help from several people around him, said: “This is a mistake!” There is no word in the Tibetan language […]
The idea for “Fired or promoted” comes from a conversation I had with a client who told me that the tendency to avoid conflict in her leadership team is so prevalent that “you never know if you are fired or promoted when you receive feedback”. I thought it was a funny notion. A common difficulty for […]
Anger can be a fiery expression of our energy, and a fiery energy can definitively fuel our inner driver and foster good will in the world. However, most of the time, anger is an authoritarian emotion that escapes our control and lashes out at others with no discernment. Anger destroys safety, trust, and connection. More […]
Communication is essential in relationships. However, sometimes to keep our heart open, we need to keep our mouth shut! At work, you can’t necessarily stop a conversation and welcome your colleagues into your arms when you slide into a poor communication pattern. You can, however, show respect in a moment of tension, stay silent, regroup, […]