We all have “unshakeable faith,” or more simply, sacred attachment to beliefs and mental models that ultimately don’t make us happy or feel fulfilled.
The dilemma of being attached to an unhelpful mechanism is captured well in the question: “Do you prefer to be happy or to be right?”
It may sound like a “cliché question”, but it is a fundamental one, worth continuing to ask.
Doubting is one of those tricky mechanisms. I’m sure that there is “healthy doubt” that keeps us alert, engaged, humble and open. What I’m referring to is more the variety of “daunting doubt” that keeps us confused, distrustful, drained and isolated. A habitual mechanism that appears to protect us from being hurt, self-deceived, wrong, fooled, disappointed, weak, mocked… choose your worst threat! – but in the end, does us no good!
For most of us, it feels dangerous to trust and we tend to choose doubt over trust. We imagine that doubting allows us to keep our free will and be emotionally safe.
I love this formula from Claire Nuer: “Don’t blindly trust, but stop blindly distrusting”. Trusting isn’t about letting go of our responsibility. To the contrary. Trusting is about opening our eyes to basic goodness, while staying present, responsible and vigilant – since nobody is perfect!
Therefore, I can wholeheartedly trust that the universe has my back and lean into its mystery and synchronicity, while taking 100% responsibility for my actions and free will. Sounds like a good plan! Right?
Reflections: What is the place of doubting in your life? The place of self-doubt? Do you really need to doubt?