Following up on my last month’s experimentation to refuse anger and rigidity in my life, I decided to focus on humility and patience instead. Therefore, I could relax about my anger and rigidity commitment for awhile. I confess: I didn’t make spectacular progress. However, I did notice three things about my anger/rigidity that I’d like to share with you:
- 1- Increased detachment from my angry self
- 2- Increased awareness of my outbursts
I usually use the image of “tapes” (like in the good old 80’s), but since Vinyls are back in our modern life (which makes me SO SO happy), here is an LP compilation of my personal Best Anger Songs Ever!
- 3- Increased clarity that there is no fun where there is anger.
Here is a story in point: One night on our way passed the SF airport, I spent at least 20 minutes arguing with my husband about the multitude of fixed lights in the horizon. I said they were lampposts used to guide planes to their landing. My husband in his counter-argument said they were not lampposts, but planes lined up waiting to land. I was so angry. I was so sure I was right. I needed so badly for these luminous points to be fixed lights. I could have easily embraced my husband’s perception and been creative and playful with him. He would have loved it. I could have involved our daughter in an imaginary game about what else these mysterious lights in the sky could be (even though at 14 and half, she no longer plays any games with her parents!). I could have let my mind wander and opened new synapses in my brain… Instead, as my mentor Claire Nuer would have said, I just wanted to strangle my husband. It took me the rest of the trip to recognize that my husband was probably right, and most importantly, that it was no big deal.
This is a perfect illustration of a lack of fun and creativity in my life when I’m caught up in my anger, rigidity and righteousness. Fighting to be right? Really? When all I need is Love. Love, Love, Love. All I need is Love…
What are your anger songs? Where do you desperately need to see fixed lights in your life? What helps you to detach from your attachment to your anger and rigidity? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
(Whoops, I forgot to talk about humility and patience… Next time perhaps!)